Transforming the Wound
The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you
Don’t go back to sleep
You must ask for what you really want
Don’t go back to sleep
People are going back and forth
across the door sill where
the two worlds touch
The door is round and open
Don’t go back to sleep.
Your suffering is due to your ancestry, your personal history, and the choices you have made. It is not a layer that was imposed upon you, like an overcoat, that you can simply remove; it is part of who you are. This pain cannot be discarded; it must be transformed.
The first step to the transformation of the wound is acknowledgement. In the Forest of Illusion, much of your energy was expended on avoidance, denial and displacement. You were not yet ready to make the healer’s journey. But once you have received the Call, and recognised that healing is necessary, then distraction is no longer an option.
In the absence of compensation behaviour, memories once lost begin to return; receive them with gratitude and grace. Although they are painful, (for why else did you need to bury them in the first place?), they are the pathway opening to your childhood self. In particular, remember the resurfacing emotion. Fear, anxiety and sadness were your companions then, and these feelings provide the connection with the child within you. This process of remembering the self is not passive; you must interact and respond. The memories, feelings, insights, visions, dreams and reflections are a rich mix, to be worked with like an artist’s palette, and you can respond through writing, painting, drawing, music, dance, movement. This is also part of the transformation.
Of course, once you are working at the coal-face of transformation, your everyday reality is difficult to maintain. Recognise that your whole life has been leading to this point, and there is no-where else to be. Your mind may try to tell you otherwise, and provide reasons why this is not a good time for it to be happening. Trust your inner self. This is the time, and there is no other. You must break down to break through.
To transform the wound, you must answer the call from the Inner Wise Healer, the part of you that is strong, wise and kind and closely attuned to your soul. Your healing arises through this inner relationship. Through her guidance, you can recover the battered and ailing child that was left wounded and hiding in a recess of your past, and provide her with sustenance, safety, and love. You can reassure her that the danger is past, and there is no longer a need to hide, or to be anxious or frightened. The Inner Wise Healer will also guide you to recover the qualities that were granted to you at birth and are still part of who you are – your sense of wonderment, grace and magic, your fertile imagination, your deep curiosity and your infinite potential for love.
With time and patience, you will make peace with your past, and the guilt, shame, and other dark feelings that you harboured towards yourself, will be transformed into acceptance, understanding, compassion, forgiveness and love.